By Jill McDaniel

I was sipping coffee at a bookstore coffeehouse while my car was being repaired, so my mind gradually wandered to the people sitting around me. Casually dressed telecommuters, a trendy college girl in trendy boots reading a trendy book, and a pretty woman with bags and coats sprawled across five chairs. I quickly discovered she was a fellow mom — partly because two young boys walked up to her — but mostly because she pulled out the most spot-on “mom voice.” We’ve all heard that patient, somewhat condescending, lecture tone accompanied by stern eyes. As a topic progresses, the patience decreases as the condescension increases, and eventually tiny sparks start shooting from the eyes…a sign that a malfunction in the system is about to occur.

The pre-adolescent boys brought books in hand to discover how open their mom’s wallet was during this bookstore visit. Her mom voice immediately took over as she explained she was NOT going to buy another book that only had its first chapter read before it was discarded. She would buy this book for them this time… BUT if this book was only read through its first chapter… she would NOT be buying them any books in the future. With heads hanging, the boys mumbled their promise to read the entire book, copyright page and table of contents included.

I went back to perusing my book that I was hoping would inspire me to eat less sugar and more fiber when the kids returned with another idea. Hot chocolate? The mom quickly switched her eyes and with a deep breath began her soliloquy. She would NOT buy hot chocolate if they only drank half of it… if they get hot chocolate, they will need to drink it all… OR we will not be getting hot chocolate any time in the future. Once again, they quietly swore their allegiance to finish what they start.

As I watched this interaction again and again, I wasn’t thinking she was a bad mom. I started wondering how often I go into lecture mode with my kids. Somewhere in the haze of setting boundaries and being consistent, I think I can get disoriented and just end up sucking the fun out of life.

When Jesus walked the earth, His purpose was to show us the way to relationship with God and then, through His sacrifice, make the way to relationship with God. He had so much to teach us, but He didn’t use lectures to do it. He talked to people the way He wanted them to talk to others. The truth is, my kids will learn from what I do…not what I lecture about.

So, fellow mom, let me vow with you: “We will NOT lecture every chance we get…and we WILL lead our kids the way Jesus leads us, immersed in love, grace, and truth.”

Jill McDaniel is a northern girl who married a southern gentleman and settled in the Midwest. She enjoys playing with cars and dolls … and cutting the crust off of sandwiches for her two small children. Jill coordinates her local MOPS group and volunteers in her church’s children’s ministry.